Ok so the first question you’re asking is “Who are you and what are you doing in my house?”. This will be followed by “Where have you been all these years?”. I can’t answer the first due to legal reasons however I can have a stab at some professionally poor excuses for the second.
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You didn’t need to see the 1st game in the current ODI series between England and India to to agree with me, but it does add considerable weight to my argument. I would also like to not the singular language in this title. I’m not suggesting he’s one of the shits, but rather THE shit. You name me a better, more exciting and consistently wicket taking bowler across all formats and I will laugh in your face as if it were Richard Pryor performing some of his classic standup in a small New York club.
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Well it seems that Bazball couldn’t save England from a trouncing in their recent T20 match against India. In all fairness they do have a different coach for the shorter formats in Matthew Mott. Oddly enough they were playing something they could be described as Mottball, although I’m not sure that tag is going to catch on.
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Well, well, well… that was an actual game of cricket. It may have taken two pretty ordinary matches for Sri Lanka to remember what a cricket bat should be used for but boy did they use it well last night. Well to be fair it was their captain, Shanaka, who proved that cricket bats can be much more than a vessel for delivering cricket balls to fielders.
The Australians batted first with Finch looking solid once again and Warner continuing to be Warner. Then came the familiar taste of Australian Apple Crumble as Maxwell fell for 16, followed by poor Josh Inglis who was run out for a first ball yucky ducky (look it up, it’s a thing). Stoinis was looking solid until he out-Hulked himself by looking to hit the ball back to Australia only to be stumped after forgetting it’s best to hit the thing if you’re going to walk 3 metres down the pitch. What are they teaching kids in school nowadays?
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The second instalment of the Australia Sri Lanka T20 series was a tad odd. After being sent in to bat, Sri Lanka seemed to draw inspiration from the same poorly written script that underpinned the first game. Lots of balls dollying up in the air, often in immediate reach of some sticky Australian hands (yuck). Glenn Maxwell continued to produce his sneaky magic with the ball (I’m not sure how he gets wickets but he does) and it was pleasing to see Jhye Richardson back on the park, delivering some smart balls (mental note: develop a product called “Smart Balls”). As I watched the innings I found myself thinking, how could Junior (Mark Waugh) have his radar so out of whack with his prediction of Sri Lanka taking out the series. SL found themselves 9 for 124 at the end of their 20 overs. I mean it’s no wonder he’s referred to as Junior right?
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Now let me get this theory out upfront. I believe that paying people huge sums of money to do things for you is some low grade classist shit. However I have no problem with the purchasing of quality equipment for a fair price. This is why I endorsed Mumbai Indians’ $1.53 million purchase of one unit of the Tim David batting machine.
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While it was exciting to watch the first game of a reasonably busy Australian Sri Lanka Tour last...
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