England’s warm-up in Perth delivered the familiar Bazball soundtrack — loud, fast, irresistibly confident — but the notes beneath it suggested a more complicated rehearsal for the Ashes. On a Lilac Hill pitch offering all the menace of a hotel bathmat, the tourists gunned their way to 426 in 85.3 overs, only to discover that even the friendliest surfaces can expose an inconvenient truth or two.
The openers did their bit for the brand. Ben Duckett and Zak Crawley treated the Lions’ attack like a range-hitting session, rattling up 182 in just over 31 overs before falling in quick succession. It was the kind of start that makes coaches smile and opponents mutter. Yet the mood shifted the moment Joe Root walked in — and almost immediately out. Still chasing his first Test century on Australian soil, he miscued a pull on one and offered a reminder that rhythm doesn’t always follow reputation. Harry Brook followed for two, charging Nathan Gilchrist as if the script required a highlight reel but finding only his stumps.
Ollie Pope steadied the middle with exactly the kind of innings England wanted: a neat, controlled 100 that all but confirms him at No.3 for the first Test. Ben Stokes added 77, a reassuring sign after his shoulder lay-off, even if his earlier six-for came courtesy of shots that would have earned a club batter a quiet word behind the sightscreen. Stokes wore each wicket with the expression of a man apologising for a misunderstanding — not quite the hardened prep England were hoping for.
The real test, of course, won’t resemble Lilac Hill. Optus Stadium has a reputation for ambition-curdling pace, the sort of deck where 17 wickets fell on day one against India last summer. Bazball on docile turf is a mood; Bazball in Perth is an examination. Crawley, ever the optimist, dismissed concerns after play. Time in the middle is time in the middle, he insisted — weather, flies and all.
England may need more than acclimatisation. Mark Wood’s Ashes hopes took a dent when hamstring stiffness ended his day after eight overs. Precautionary scans await, and with a knee injury already behind him, his availability remains in doubt for the opener on 21 November.
For now, England have runs, a few anxieties, and a week to stitch the whole thing together. Warm-ups rarely tell the full story, but this one whispered a familiar truth: the Ashes don’t care how pretty your dress rehearsal looked.
